Yeah, that's right - two months and nineteen days until we're lawfully wedded. And I'm dreading it:

• That's not a long time. In fact, it's a feckin' short amount of time. We have nothing prepared. Literally. Well, almost. We have the venue booked. The guestlist sorted, and I have a dress. But there is still so much to sort out. Photographers, caterers, travel, honeymoon, accomodation, Nicky's suit and the best man and groomsmen suits.. and that's just a start.. arghh.
  
• I've been having doubts recently about if I want to get married at all. Not because I don't love Nicky. I love him more than anything. It's a little complex and I've got sick of having to explain this to people over the last couple of weeks. Sigh. Briefly, I don't/didn't think it's fair that he should have to deal with me, my moods, and everything that comes with me. He deserves much better than I can offer him. I feel/felt that I can't make him happy and he deserves to be the happiest, because there is no man on earth better than he is. I don't know if I still feel like this or not.
  
• I'm really nervous. It's a combination of the previous two, I imagine.

But enough of the negative things. What have we got sorted? I got my dress last month. My mum paid for it for me, which was, uh, unusually kind of her. I have issues with my mum. I've also got the bridesmaid dresses. My sister Kaylee is my maid of honour, with Kelsey, Ally, Amelia and Nicky's eight year old niece Becca as bridesmaids. Nicky's best man is going to be his younger brother, and the ushers are my brother Jason and his older brother.

We're having the ceremony in Wortley Hall. Which is a beautiful old country chateau in the countryside not far from where we live.

As for a honeymoon, I don't even know if we'll be having one. Four kids is a lot to be able to unload...